Fixation -dialed in way too close.
Nothing good comes to me when I am in the state of fixation. And I have learned to recognize it as a state of being, almost an affliction or an infection of some sort. A mind infection.
And it doesn’t really matter what I’m fixated on. In the past I’ve used the excuse that the thing on which I was fixated was a healthy thing. Like exercise. Or making money.
But the problem is my personal inner scales get all thrown out of balance when I’m fixated. I value things that have no real worth, and I ignore things that need my attention. I lose the ability to recognize much of anything, let alone make good decisions.
So, I’ve learned to identify the signs of fixation, and when I feel it coming on, I turn and run the other way, no matter the subject which is crying out for my gaze.
An often overlooked quality necessary to being a good leader is humility. And one place in which that humility becomes essential is in the area of mentoring.
Dads and moms mentor. Coaches mentor. Bosses mentor. Pastors and community leaders and CEO’s and PTA’s and grandma’s mentor.
Mentoring essentially means walking with someone in a less experienced or less mature position, and acting as a forerunner, or sage, who can warn of pitfalls, hurdles, shortcomings, and blind spots along the way.
Mentor-leaders help to mold and shape those who are following, and this is where the humility comes in. At some point those people being led are going to mature to the position of ‘peer’, and begin to recognize YOUR weaknesses. Point out YOUR failures. And they may be right.
If you do your job well as a leader, that day will come sooner rather than later. And without humility, you will become unsafe, defensive, offensive, unapproachable. And your leadership will grind to a halt.
It takes humility to receive corrective input from people with whom you have had a mentoring role. But this ability is what makes you a great leader.
Take your people to the next level by modeling humility when being corrected.
As a grown up, I can honestly say there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about my childhood. Actually, there probably isn’t an hour that goes by in the same way. I have only recently begun to feel like I’m a grown up. Until recently, I felt exactly the same as I did when I was seventeen. I looked out of the same eyes, and processed in the same inner room of my mind.
The point I am trying to make is that I was formed by my childhood, and the clay has dried. Let me be clear. I was formed by two parents, for better or worse. By their presence and absence, their care and carelessness, their hopes and fears and wins and losses and tears and laughter, and they were knowingly or otherwise the architects of what I am now.
This fact has been the single driving force in my parenting. I am now the potter at the wheel, and I have the opportunity, and the responsibility, to mold and shape these little people, recognizing that they too will spend most of their years looking back to wonder at their forming.